Seriously?

Ever since you left for Arkansas last year, you've turned into nothing but a stuck up brat that whines about everything.
You're constantly going back and forth with a dickhead that all you do is complain about, that he's trash, disrespectful, stupid, annoying, and trouble. 
I try to care for you, protect you, keep you safe, but you don't give a fuck. You're just going to disagree, and give me shit like "k."
Since you left, you've been this way. You haven't given a shit about anyone that cares about you.
Apparently the only person that cares about you anymore is Nikki. Nikki's the one that feeds you shit from Lakeview, the one that tells you people are still talking about Brandon, the one who stirs the pot of drama to piss you off. She's not a fucking friend.


"Dear family of Jess Craner, leave her alone for leaving. It was her decision and she needed to get away. She's been through a lot these past couple of years. You cannot blame her for leaving just because she needed a fresh start. You need to get over yourselves and realize you're the ones being selfish due to the fact that you can't stop blaming her for leaving. Sincerely, the only one who cares about her still."


That. That is fucking BULLSHIT.
You say it like SHE'S the only one who's been through any fucking problems in her god damn life. We are all affected by his fucking death too, we've all been through a lot these past couple of years. She left for a "fresh start"? No. She left because she was too much of a coward to face anything, be a bigger person, and grow up. I think I have a right to be selfish about wanting to protect the girl that's been like a sister to me for the last however many years, nearly two decades. Everyone was having a tough time, and yes, she abandoned us during that.
And what has she done since she got to Arkansas? Complained, about everything.


It ISN'T fair.


And now I'm in fits of anger and sadness and feelings that I can't get rid of. I've taken plenty of pain killers and sleep aids hoping they'll keep me from a breakdown, but that's failed. I'm crying, holding back sobs, trying to hide my feelings from my roommate because I don't want to talk about what's wrong...


Tentacles.


Bullshit.


Terror.


Anxiety.


Depression.


All of it.


And to think I was having an alright day until tonight...