So Much for a Holiday Break

Writing down stuff on my whiteboard and calendar and sticky notes about the week, and fuck this shit. I will barely get to spend any time with my family.

It’s a read more, so you don’t have to see my bitching if you don’t really want to.

I get to go home Wednesday night to start my break, have my shit already in the car before I go to work at 2:45 after class, and won’t get to my house to unload it or see anyone until probably near 10:45 at night.

Depending what time I come out of a coma on Thursday morning, I have to clean the house, cook, try to do something for Jake’s birthday, have thanksgiving dinner at my house, TRY to maybe relax for five minutes, go to something with Jake, come home early, and sleep (maybe) and have nightmares about not waking up on time the next morning because….

Fucking why do I have to work 6am until 2pm on fucking BLACK FRIDAY. Are you insane. I’m a second shift primary person. I AM NOT GOOD AT SPEED OF SERVICE, OR BREAKFAST ITEMS. I have NEVER worked a full eight hour morning shift like that, and the first one you want to throw me on is BLACK FRIDAY? Where everyone is already pissed off about everything and then I have to serve them coffee and try to smile, while running around like a chicken with my head cut off?! REALLY? ALSO, I’M PRETTY SURE MY AVAILABILITY FOR EVERY DAY STILL SAYS I’M NOT ABLE TO WORK ANYTHING BEFORE 2PM. FUCKING GOD.

So, once I work all day then, maybe I can get home and NOT pass out and spend some time with my family, or something. BUT WAIT. I HAVE TO GO TO SLEEP AND HAVE MORE NIGHTMARES ABOUT NOT WAKING UP ON TIME FOR THE STUPID 10:30AM TO 6:30PM SHIFT I HAVE ON SATURDAY.

What even is that shift? Here’s how our set “shift” times go: 

1st shift: 6am-2pm

2nd shift: 2pm-10pm

Midnight (3rd Shift): 10pm-6am

Why. The hell. Are you. THROWING ME TO WORK IN BETWEEN TWO SHIFTS LIKE THAT? WHY. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that you’re trying to give me as many hours as possible, giving me essentially the break shift for 2nd, while not cutting it to the normal 5 hour shift that it is, BUT WHY. WHY WHY WHY. Also, if I have to work that shift again with Amelia, I will explode. Today when I go in, if someone is there, I am going to talk to them and ask them to PLEASE, IF AT ALL POSSIBLE EVER, AVOID SCHEDULING ME WITH AMELIA. 

She doesn’t do shit and isn’t in charge, and gets mad at us because she isn’t. She tells us to do all the shit she doesn’t want to do and gets mad if we say “no”. Which I did last Saturday. AND IF WE ARE FUCKING TRAINING THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD AGAIN I WILL EXPLODE.

ANYWAYS. 

After the what the fuck shift from hell, I’m going to try to be semi presentable in my car and go to Jake’s for his family’s thanksgiving dinner, or at least, left overs.

Then Sunday I get to go back to OU where all the school stress and anxiety starts right back up where it left off.

Then, I’m assuming, work on Monday again.

Fucking this week. I am DONE.

Hngh.

So, here’s a list of stuff I still need to have packed and ready to go by Sunday:

• Sheets
• Pillow cases
• Towels
• Wash cloths
• Mattress Pad
• Egg Crate Pad
• Comforter 
• Pillows
• Blue Blanket
• Purple Fleece Blanket
• Clothes!
• Hangers
• Coffee Pot
• Bowls
• Mugs
• Paper Plates
• Paper Bowls
• Plasticware
• Silverware
• Dish Soap
• Paper Towel
• Dish Towel
• Water Bottle
• Food
• Drinks
• Coffee Filters
• Scoops
• Coffee
• Shampoo
• Conditioner
• Q-tips
• Concerta
• B-Control
• Ritilan
• Cold Meds
• Ibuprofen
• Heart Burn Meds
• Makeup
• Makeup Remover 
• Hair brush
• Hair Dryer
• Flat Iron
• Tooth Paste
• Tooth Brush
• Tampons
• Pads
• Deodorant
• Cotton Balls
• Nail Polish Remover
• 1^st Aid Kit
• Soaps
• Face Wash
• Makeup Mirror
• Razors
• Shaving Cream
• Contacts
• Glasses
• Cleaners
• Case
• Neosporin
• Fan
• White board
• 3m Hooks
• Poster Hangers
• Extension Cords
• Power strips
• Laptop
• Flashlight
• Umbrella
• Raincoat
• Backpack
• Books
• Laundry Basket
• Laundry Soap
• Fabric Softeners
• Flash Drive
• Printer?
• Fridge? 
• Microwave?
• Alarm clock
• Ipod Dock
• Printing Paper
• Notebooks
• 3 Hole Punch
• Scissors
• Stapler
• Highlighters
• Post-its
• Color Pencils
• Markers
• Binders
• Bike?
• Bike lock?
• Bassoon
• Reed supplies
• Art  supplies
• Desk lamp
• AA Batteries
• Vacuum 

And then, here’s my work schedule for this week:

• Monday: 2pm-10pm
• Tuesday: 2:30pm-7:00pm
• Wednesday: 2:45pm-7:30pm
• Thursday: OFF
• Friday: 1:30pm-6:30pm
• Saturday: 2pm-10pm
• Sunday: OFF
• Also working today and tomorrow, both 2pm-10pm

I have no idea how I’m going to pack everything and manage to breathe. I’m lucky that Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday are short shifts, but I know I’m not going to want to do much after them. So I’ll have to make sure I get up at reasonable times throughout the week to pack everything up slowly (aka, not sleeping till 11, getting up the first time my body wakes me up, around 8 or 9, and staying awake).

Ultimately, it’s not too much, I guess. I know everything I need to pack, I know where it is, its just a matter of taking the time to actually pack it all up. 

A bunch of things, like my toiletries, toothbrush, toothpaste, hair stuff, then clothes and things I use every day won’t be able to get packed until Saturday night/Sunday morning, unless I decide I want to get a second set of most of this to just keep at school? Two toothbrushes, toothpastes, shampoos, hair brushes, stuff like that, one to keep at home, one to keep at school (its what I did last year and it was nice, because I’m the person that always forgets her toothbrush).

I just have to make sure I get everything I really need up there the first day, so I don’t have to come back and forth during the first week, because I know it’s going to be INSANE with classes, and working, and trying to get situated in general again.

I’m sure there’s a bunch of other things that need to go on that list that I’m forgetting. 

Oh, not to mention the fact that once I get up there and all set, I plan to go to meijer over there to grab some staple food to keep me through most of my days, and try to do cafeteria or transfer meals most of the time. But I’m getting positive I’ll want to have some veggies in there, in small containers pre-cut, so they save space, and so I’ll eat them, as well as some lunchmeat and cheese to make sandwiches to take for work, instead of just relying off my free baked good (aka, a bagel with butter, because I have to pay for cream cheese), or spending money on TH food with my discount. Need to save up my money, and watch what I eat once I start school. I’m going to be using the myfitnesspal again once I get there, because I believe I’ll have an easier time targeting everything, and exercising. 

Whew. I’m really not up to packing before I go to work this morning, but that’s because I didn’t sleep too well. All I remember last night was shoving three sleep aids down my throat (probably unwise), and then being extremely fussy in my bed. My head and mind were so exhausted, but every physical nerve in my body was tingling and I couldn’t stay still. I tossed and turned and cried and huffed and puffed, and shoved a handful (I didn’t really count, I think somewhere around four or five…) of ibuprofen in my mouth, tossed and turned more, and eventually just disconnected completely. I think my body and mind are trying to recover from that, with the concerta in its system. I also really need to remember to take my meds. Every. Day.

What a Shitty Night.

Work was terrible. My male co-workers took forever to unload the truck, I was forced into my break early, my other female co-worker kept fucking disappearing the whole first half of the shift, and messing around and not really working at all, and then as the night went on, she made sure to be in the back as much as she possibly could, leaving me as the only person in charge of counter and drive thru, as she did all the shit she 1, should have done earlier, and 2, should be training me on more. She also thought it was priority to start filling a special order for the next day, when that's night shift's job, since their customer intake is slower. We had a bunch of shit left on our list by the shift change because she fucked off, and it pissed off the night guy, who told us to finish whatever task we were doing and "get the hell out". 

I came home hot, sweaty, exhausted, and having only eaten a small cup of chicken noodle soup, and a bag of sliced apples all day, basically living off of the iced coffee with espresso I had on the way to work.

And then, I came to a dead betta fish. I'm such a shitty fucking pet owner, I don't understand how the fuck I think I'm going to be a decent mother at all one day. My fish always die, my guinea pig is always getting sick... I just feel useless and stupid and that I have no potential or purpose in the goals I have in mind, and its a really shitty way to feel.

To top it all off, it seems my plans (the ones I've been looking forward to all week, and what got me through tonight) of going to Secretary of State tomorrow morning, and hanging out all day with Jake and going to Outback for a nice dinner, are cancelled.

I'm really pissed off and annoyed and want to eat all the left over pizza we have, cry, and sleep.

Fuck it.

I've learned more about cars in the last 2-3 months than I have my whole life.

So here’s what’s wrong with my car: 

Apparently, they couldn’t get the car to not start, and therefore couldn’t 100% diagnose the problem. They tried throughout the day and ran tests and read codes, but still cannot be certain. They think its something with the security sensor, which is apparently very common in GMs, and especially, Impalas (go figure). Basically, its malfunctioning, and instead of identifying my key as the right key (which, it is), its freaking out and locking the security systems, because it thinks I’m trying to steal the car.

I mean, I can’t complain. That is a handy dandy useful ass system for someone that doesn’t really have any type of car alarm or better security system in the car (aka, me). But it shouldn’t malfunction.

Since neither my father or I were paying too much attention when it wouldn’t start the other day (I think we were both just pretty pissed off about it) we weren’t sure if the security light on the dash went on and stayed on or not. If it had, this definitely would have been the problem. The guy told us if the car won’t start, the light comes on, stays on, and flashes, then yes. That’s the problem. 

Apparently there’s a way around this issue, to reset and re-code things, ish. Basically, you turn the key in and if it doesn’t start, the security light will flash. If you keep the battery on and let the light flash for 10-15 minutes, it will then stop flashing and become solidly on. This means it has reset and the security feature has stopped. Simply turn the key the rest to start up the engine as you would normally. And viola. Your car should start (if that’s the actual problem). Obviously though, that is some annoyance on the battery, and isn’t a permanent fix, and is especially annoying if you have somewhere to be…

The guy was REALLY nice about my car, having been going back to it and looking at it all day. Regardless of the “mandatory $40 inspection fee” sign behind the desk, he didn’t charge us for bringing the car in. He explained he’s pretty positive that this diagnosis is accurate, but understands that we don’t want to spend money getting it fixed until we see that security light and know for sure, this is the problem. He probably also didn’t charge us because he is so certain that’s the problem, and therefore, is pretty certain we’ll be back in a few days/weeks to get it fixed anyway. He gave us all the info about the parts, and how much it would ultimately cost to repair it. Somewhere just above $400. Guh.

What is money and why does mine keep disappearing?

General Life Updates

The family is back home. I can’t say I’m really annoyed or happy they’re back. I haven’t really been social with them since they’ve returned. A few hours after they got back, I went out with Jake to pick up his new car, and stayed at his house till around 11. And then today, I woke up, went to lunch, came back to get ready, and left for work. My dad stayed yesterday and last night, and today, got on a plane to go to Colorado for more work training for a week, so I won’t see him for a while, either. Although, at this point, I definitely didn’t miss my mother’s blaring tv.

Jake got his new car yesterday. Well, its not new. It’s an older Lincoln Mark VIII (look at me, trying to prove I know shit about any type of car ever), black, with chrome and a pinstripe and all that jazz. He’s pretty thrilled about it. I think it cost him somewhere around $6,000 for it. He mentioned something about taking the money he had left from selling his Mustang to possibly get me something pretty and shiny, that will signify our current and future commitment. Ahem. But we shall see. His new car needs a bunch of stuff, including new tires, and possibly something with the battery, since it was giving him trouble this morning. 

Work was okay, today. It wasn’t too great, it wasn’t too awful. I definitely enjoy it there more in the evening, when the Assistant Manager is gone, and its just me and Fadi. Or me and Amelia is okay, too, but Sunday nights with Fadi are never boring. Early in the shift, there was a big mix up with a very unhappy customer. We heard “Tuscan Chicken Sandwich”, which we figured meant “Tuscan Chicken Panini”, but he had apparently said “TOASTED Chicken Sandwich”. So, that was a problem, because he waited the 2 minutes it takes for the panini to cook, and got the wrong thing. And apparently when the correct sandwich was remade, it was on white instead of wheat, so he came in the store all pissed off, and demanded to speak to a manager. The assistant manager pretty much gave us a repetitive lecture about how when we mess up and lose product, we will end up suffering for it, because we’re losing money, and losing money means losing jobs, and if we value our job, or her job, and everything, we’ll get stuff right, and even if we do make mistakes, we have to do our best to make it right for the customer and make them happy. Apparently I also have negative customer service qualities, that I didn’t even notice. I’ll have to be more conscious about that, I guess.

The owner/manager also talked to me about the missed day from Thursday. She’s being super amazingly nice and generous to me, and I cannot thank her enough. Because I’m still within my 90 days of hire, after that “no call/no show” (even though I don’t think it should be considered a no show, because I had every intention of rushing out the door, but was flat out TOLD to stay home…) I should have been immediately terminated. But she said she doesn’t want to do that to me, and that I’ll just be on a 40 day probation. Basically, if I’m late at all again in the next 40 days, I can be terminated or suspended. Neither of which are all that great, honestly.

I also finally got a copy of the handbook, which I asked for like the second week. If I had that handbook on Wednesday night when I hadn’t felt good, and had read the section over that said “If you feel ill within 12 hours of your next shift, please call in to get a cover for your shift”, I definitely would have done that instead of sleeping in past because I thought I had to go in, or call in later. That also frustrates me, that I’ve been penalized, even though I requested again and again for the materials that could have prevented the problem. But, as is life, I suppose.

The night was fun though. Waves of people, and not much to do outside of taking orders and doing routine temps, dishes, and cleaning, so it was nice. There was a little scare though, when there was a rush of people with just Fadi and I, (for some reason, we told Tyler he could go early, and ten minutes later, it flooded!) and the ice capp machine broke down, and we couldn’t figure out how to fix it. It was very frustrating. We had to call Maureen and get her help. But we figured it out. I got sprayed from across the kitchen with sanitizer (to which Fadi looked at me and said “… I… have no explanation for that. Sorry.”), and apparently highly impressed Fadi by knowing that the song playing on his phone was a remix of Legend of Zelda music. Apparently while working and in uniform, I don’t seem like a total nerd? Strange!

Oh yeah, and my car wouldn’t start when I had to go to work today, so I took the Malibu. I felt bad though, because that meant my mother had to drive my father to the airport with the van, which is not reliable at all.

But tomorrow, the plan is to call the shop and get my car in as soon as possible (they open at 8, so that’s when we’re calling and hoping to get it there, if it starts, or call a tow), and then, hopefully, going with Jake to the Secretary of State to get our enhanced IDs, register to vote, and if he gets what he needs by then, transfer the license plate from his Mustang to his new car. Sometime in between or before or after, I need to run to the post office and send out the “gentlepus” painting for Melissa. :) Mom has an appointment in the afternoon, and Jake has to work, so I’m not quite sure what will happen tomorrow afternoon and evening, since I don’t have to work, but I’m sure it will involve me being lazy and on the internet.

I suppose I should go to sleep now, since I want to be up early, and am just flat out exhausted, and am starving, but don’t feel like making food… but I’m currently addicted to the stupid House M.D. game on facebook. I promised myself I’d not get caught up in another stupid facebook game! Argh!

What?

What even is this anymore?

My original three hour shift turned into about a six hour shift. I’m not complaining about it, but I am most certainly exhausted.

Turns out, I MAY be able to keep this job. Apparently, my manager, Marco, thinks that unless I work more than 25 hours a week, its not even offered to me. He’s going to get in touch with someone who would know for sure, and have her get back to me as soon as possible. Also, doing the same thing with my second pair of pants, shoes, and my belt, that I still haven’t received. I need those shoes. Now. My marching band shoes are killing me. And I keep slipping. :x

I got my first checks today. Pitiful amounts of money for the few hours I worked. Curse you, taxes. Taxes really suck. I wish I could get an under-the-table job or something.

Marco was really sweet to me today when I was expressing the insurance problems. He said, and I quote “I’d really hate to lose a really great worker, especially after the training. You’re really good, and you’ve learned really fast and I’d love to get you to be able to do even more.” It made me feel more confident in working there, and even being able to find a different job if it doesn’t end up working out. I really do enjoy working there. The staff is all really great and so many customers have already told me this is the best McDonald’s they’ve ever been to. But for these longer shifts, I definitely want to be sure to bring my own meal or snack. I cannot keep eating McD’s. I get halfway through and feel like I’m going to vomit. That could just be my finicky stomach, though.

When working at McDonald’s… it’s definitely one of those places that even long after you get off your shift, you’re still hearing beeping fryers in your head.

I’ve been put on the schedule for another day this week and for next week.

Mon. 6/4: 4pm-7pm
Wed. 6/6: 7am-1:30pm
Thurs. 6/7: 11:30am-5pm
Fri. 6/8: 7am-9:30am
Mon. 6/11: 11:45am-4pm
Tues. 6/12: 11:30am-3pm