I want to start posting a diary here. I want to try write something every day, even a little something. I may not type it up that day, but I'll write it down and type it another time. Yeah? Let's see how long I can keep this up!
Happy New Year!
Such an exhausting weekend, so much of it spent in the car, and with little to no sleep.
On Saturday I drove from my house to Howell, and back, and today I drove from my house, to Brighton, and back. And then of course, we drove around my area and all later.
But it was nice. I got to see my best friend. I feel awful though.
She's sort of kind of transgender, or something I guess. I don't know the exact term. She doesn't really have any interest in surgeries, but feels male, and prefers to be known as male.
I wanted to tell my mom about how she feels, so that my mother (and myself) could get used to referring to her using male pronouns, but I wasn't sure how to go about it, so I put it off. I kept referring to her as Karly, when HE prefers the name Edgar. When we went to a party, my friends asked her what her name was and she was really awkward about it and I looked at her and she looked back at me and neither of us were sure of what to say. I didn't want to offend her or anything by saying the wrong name she wanted, so she answered with Karly. I should have introduced her, and I didn't. I feel as though I disrespected her the entire weekend.
She went home today at noon.
Jake came along with me for both drives. On Saturday, he drove back from Howell for me, and today, I drove both ways, but he still tagged along. After today, we stopped at his house, where his mother showered me with Christmas gifts.
She first gave me a hooded jacket that was wrapped in the package still, and explained, "its a gift for you to give to Jakob, to give back to you.". The idea is that its MY jacket, but he's going to occasionally take it and "break it in" and make it smell nice, with the theory that it will make me stop taking all his jackets. Heehee. Good luck.
Next, she gave me a "re-gift", essentially, but in the best means of the therm. It was a nice fluffy bathrobe that Jake, Danny, and their dad had given to her a few years ago, but she had never used or worn it, and wanted to give it to me. Its really really REALLY fucking soft.
Then she gave me another bag with bath slippers, and Bath and Body Works Twilight Woods shimmer, body spray, and bubble bath. Twilight Woods is definitely up there in my list of favourite scents. Actually, it probably is my favourite, because I think my other favourite is only a seasonal thing.
Now, the last part, was so clever.
"You have all this to make you relax, and de-stress, but how will you?! You'll need more time!"
Low and behold, inside the box was an officially licensed by WB Harry Potter Time Turner replica. Its gorgeous. I love it.
Love love love it. :)
Anyways. After, we sat and talked a bit, and came back to my house, where Jake and I watched some of the football game with mom, successfully ate a pound of shrimp cocktail between the two of us, and curled up in my bed to watch Star Wars, and doze off for a while.
Jake went out to pick up Ben, while I woke up a bit and got ready to go out. We met my friend Annette, her boyfriend, and their friend at American Pie, and feasted on pizza before parting ways, and returning to my house for a few.
Ben and Jake played with Buckley, and with Jack and Logan on Super Smash Bros, while I visited with my uncle and his girlfriend who had come over (and are still in the other room...) for a while. Heather, my uncle's girlfriend, gave me a great present. She gave me a cute little picture frame with a piano and a quote about music, and a card with a note that says "as soon as your gift comes, I'll get it to you!" and had put in a picture of the Yoda quote bracelet I wanted from etsy! She explained the difficulties she had with contacting the seller, and the confusion about the listing, and it getting here before Christmas. However, it apparently has been sent out and should arrive soon.
Its a stamped metal bracelet that says "Try not. Do. Do not. There is no try."
I had posted I wanted it on facebook, and she saw it and got it for me. :)
Further shenanigans ensued with Jake and Ben. We had a lot of fun driving around in the Lincoln and running around Meijer. We dropped Ben off, and I very much enjoyed driving past the lake with Jake. Even though it was dark and "styrosnowing", it was beautiful. I think I'd like to live near water for a while one day.
I'm not sure yet, but I think I'm ready to return to school Tuesday evening. I wish I could get there earlier to fix up the room and have more time to just get situated and back into the feel of living there, but dad has to work, and won't be able to take me back up until the evening. I still need to write down my schedule and get it all clear of where I'm going exactly, and re organize notebooks and folders and books and stuff. (oh shit, I just realized I'll have to try and get my books during the day of classes because the bookstore will be closed by time I get there on Tuesday!) I'm not sure if I'm exactly ready to be away from the luxuries of at home (private bathroom, big bed, convenient food, etc), or the idea of being farther away from Jake again and not getting to see him every day, nor actually having to work in class... but I am looking forward to feeling independent again. I really do like that feeling. One of the first things I'm going to do when I get back is apply like crazy to businesses on Walton, so I can walk to them, and hopefully find an okay job. The urge to have money, get an apartment, and support myself is stronger than it ever has been this year.
I have made a few New Year's resolutions, and I feel like I'm going to keep making more throughout the month of January, if not longer. Thus far, they are...
- Lose a big of weight. Not too much, I'm generally okay and decently happy with my body, but I could lose a few pounds, maybe work out a bit and make my curves shapely instead of the way they are now.
- Do better in school. I'm going to thoroughly do my homework, study, and take my time on exams. I'm going to work hard to get my GPA up up up up up up!
- Practice bassoon more! It needs to be done.
- Find, and keep a decent job. Obviously.
- Get an apartment, or at least start SERIOUSLY looking at them.
- Stress out less. Be less of a ball of anxiety and depression.
- Be neater.
- SAVE. MONEY.
- Live and love.
Tomorrow's plans are as follows..
Waking up when I wake up, showering, going to Jake's for lunch/early dinner with his family, going to bookstores in search of nice books, looking at used bookstores, having fun, enjoying my last official day of break, packing stuff up.
That's really it. But I'm sure it will be lovely.
I am really really really tired. I didn't even want to get on the computer, but I figured I've neglected my laptop quite a bit, as it hasn't been used in over 48 hours. :P
Either way, goodnight.
~Mary
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