It's become my staple food this past week. I'm not complaining.
Current countdowns:
- 16 days until our anniversary, 2 years.
- 18 days until my last official final exam
- 27 days until the anniversary of Brandon's death, 2 years
- 28 days until I have to be officially moved out of the dorm
- ??? days until jury
I'm already exhausted. I have to write up the essay exam for history that's due Thursday, that I haven't started, slam out the Ireland presentation, and the Ireland essay, finish revising essays for my writing class, practice for the piano exam, and study my ass off for the theory exam.
All while staying healthy, alive, and maintaining some sort of social life, as well as a stable mental level.
I'm wishing myself all the luck in the world.
My dad, Jake and I went to go check out a car that was for sale today. It seemed perfect. It worked great, looked nice, was comfortable, a decent price... except it was resalvaged, and our credit union won't give us an autoloan on resalvaged vehicles.
That went out the window.
In retrospect, as much as I had hoped that would be it and I'd finally have a car, I'm glad it didn't work out. If it had, it would have just been way too easy.
Oh well. We keep searching.
Shopping for jeans at the salvation army has to be one of the most difficult tasks ever. Not only are all brands of jeans made differently to fit, but the Salvation army just has a bunch of random jeans everywhere. I wish they had at least SOME sense to how they lay them out, at least by size or style. But no, just "women's jeans", and done.
I didn't spend much time looking because I originally needed to come back to school asap to do some work, so I only found one pair that fit and I liked. Oh, well.
Seems like my whole life is "oh, well" at the moment.
But I shouldn't say that. I'm only saying that because I'm exhausted and don't feel well and am being negative tonight.
Oh well.
I don't want to go to classes tomorrow. I have to figure out the rest of our freaking composition thing for World Cultures. It was great, and all planned at first. I was playing flute, Cory was playing a bell and a shaker, and Ashley was going to play piano. Perfect. All we had to do with what we had gotten together was figure out little improv solos.
But no. Ashley wants to now play the African flute that we found. Which sounds like crap. And is in a different key than we had originally started in.
They had the nerve to ask me to play the contrabassoon as a droning bass.
Again.
She has to be the center of attention. I'm pissed, and I don't want to deal with it, and I want to be a nice person and go with the flow, but it really upsets me.
I also just don't want to go to theory. But then again, when the hell do I ever.
I want to start next semester already. Even if I do have 8am classes every day except Thursday. They're classes I want to go to.
I'm also really annoyed with our neighbors in the dorm. At least, I think it's our neighbor. Or her friends/boyfriend at least. Recently there have been a bunch of guys on our all-girls floor. Last month, there were a bunch of snotty comments on our interactive bulletin board, as well as written on our neighbor's door decs. About a week or two ago, there was a penis drawn in dry erase marker across her whole door. It's since been erased (it only took about a week and a half), but since it disappeared, there has still been shit going on, including scribbling of cuss words on almost every newsflyer hanging in our hallways, another beautifully drawn penis on the inside of the elevator doors, and even one night, vandalism on our own door decorations at 11:30pm. We had a sign on our door that said "BASSOON PARTY" from a long time ago. The jerks thought it would be mature to scribble out letters so that it read "ASS PARTY". As Danae and I laid in our beds waiting to fall asleep, we heard a group of guys talking loudly out in the hall way (they seemed to be two doors down at the most, or at the elevator), and then scraping noises on our door. I get up five minutes after it's silent, and lo and behold, there's the ruined sign.
It's really annoying because this is our fucking home. People should not be so disrespectful.
But at the same time, we don't want to say much of anything because the year is almost out, and we don't want to start drama.
I am considering privately saying something to Shannon about it if it keeps up, though.
Also, something's just immature and inappropriate about posting "naked cuddle night tonight at 8:45 ;) " on our floor facebook group.
This is another reason we think it's our neighbor.
This was put up on my tumblr this morning, and I think it should be here as well.
As I spread Kroger Brand Cream Cheese onto my bagel this morning, I came to a realization.
A realization of why I seldom buy brand name products anymore.
Even though my parents want to support me in a lifestyle that doesn’t change in college, and let me have the expensive items we’ve used at home, and tell me to use their money for the necessities…
I don’t.
I buy Kroger or Meijer brand groceries. CVS brand toiletries. Food, bags, plasticware, soap, shampoo, razors…
Nothing’s the same as what I’m used to. Instead of Philadelphia cream cheese, I spread Kroger Soft Cream Cheese over my plain bagel from the cafeteria. Instead of organic fresh strawberries, I’m eating some pre-sliced and packaged strawberries from Meijer. At CVS last week, instead of buying the expensive gel blade Venus razors, I bought a pack of disposable Bic razors, and CVS shaving gel. I buy Vo5 Shampoo from Meijer, which is a total of 89 cents. My new favourite hand sanitizer was from Kroger, and I can’t stop using it.
The few things I have in my dorm room right now that are brand name, were more than likely bought by my mother, or bought a while ago under brand name because of a sale, or a long shelf life. For example, I have a giant bar of Jif peanut butter, and specifically Lays Salt and Vinegar Chips.
But it’s not much.
So, if my parents offer the luxuries I’m used to… why am I sacrificing? I have few bills to pay, I’m not spending my own money, why should it matter?
Because of you.
I want to get used to the cheap stuff. We want our own place, and even with both of us having jobs, we know that will take up the bulk of our money. Cheap items will be a must. And I’m adjusting now so that when we go on our first shopping trip, to supply OUR pantry, OUR fridge, OUR bathroom, OUR home, I’m ready and used to getting whatever’s on sale, whatever is the least costly.
I mean, hell. I already can’t wait to go pick out our dinnerware at the Salvation Army. No joke.
I miss you. I love you.
The summer needs to start.
Hello, sleepaids.
Goodnight, world.
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